not sure who took this picute but it pretty much captures the feeling in that alley that night. goodtimes

juan has been my friend for a while. its terrible that i dont have many pictures of him. but i'm lucky to have taken this one. nice face buddy

so i was sitting outside of a used book store. i was using one of those benches that a cute town put in so the tax payers can say they got something for their money. i suppose everyone found it strange that i was just sitting there watching them. what else are benches for?

so i as i was sitting there i watched three type of people. old people. old people who tried to be young. and old people who were okay with being old. all of them were kinda sad. old woman was sad and bitter it seemed. she started bossing her son around. the old in denial seemed like she was in this intense war with age. her only weapons were botox, hair color, her teenager's make up, and sensible shoes. old okay woman seemed to have lost the same battle. and was okay with it. i guess out of all of those people, her story was the least sad.

i wonder if a young expresso punk will one day anaylize and pick apart my life on a downtown bench. i guess the best thing i can wish for is that he sees a different kind of old in me.

so like friendship right. probably the most underrated relationship on this planet. the people we meet in life on the path road journey watever that we're on. are priceless. even if you hate them. they affect and add to you something. the friends that you can say that you ended up loving are even more invaluable. thanks to all those who i call friends. i'll won't forget you.

so yeah. there is a nice pause about to happen. more writing and creativity will take place. and alot of thinking and even more sorting out. alot of sorting out. funny how confusion can be the most interesting part of living. almost sad though. that you have to be in disarray to be comfortable. that's why God is so great. He's my perfection. my peace. cause if it was left to me, the topsy turvy of life would rule every breath. thanks God.

so yeah, my head is going to explode.
i wonder...alot or a lot...about test.
i wonder how important they really are.
and what do they trully prove.
how much do they matter in the end?

most of the greatest lessons ive learned
haven't come from a book written by
a proffessor doctor or specialist.
they have come just by living from day to day.
life is one of the best teachers. and he doesn't give
midterms.

so this is my second blog i created. hopefully this will work. i fuhget why i first wanted to do this. maybe i just need to write more. and have a place to put my thoughts. or maybe i wanted to say, "yeah i have a blog blah blah blah.." or maybe you folks didn't know enough about me. or maybe this is just other pointless thing i can use my computer for. or not.